Are you adopted child? What’re
your feeling when you know that you’re an adopted child and feel lonely in the
family? Well this time I just want to express a little bit about myself. Many the
people around me not know or just not care that I’m an adopt child and the only
son in a adopted family. For me, when I know who I am, I know the
responsibility is really big on my shoulder for this family, I have to payback
what they’ve done to me cause make me till who am I now. I’m the oldest in the
family and have 3 young sisters. The age of my sisters is 17 years old (Now,
she’s waiting for SPM result), 15 years old and 13 years old. Now, I’m 24 and
next month, on 13th March, I’ll be 25 years old. At my age now, it is the best time I have to service for my lovely family. The gap
between me and the oldest sister is about 7 years, that’s a big gap like the
differentiate generation. Until now, I still feel as a stranger in this family
even they’re treat me very good and full of lovely like their own child. As a
proven, I have a degree in Computer Science which is this course have to spend big
budget and some said this course just for the rich family if you want to
success in this field (During study, I rarely ask money from my family, just try
to control budget all the money I can, thanks god I got scholarship from JPA).
I don’t want to be a burden for my family any more, it’s already enough what
they’ve done to me. Now, it’s my turn to payback.
Even I have degree but my salary is still diploma standard (Economy
in Malaysia is still not good and maybe just this is my rezki). It’s really hard when you
have to saving half of your salary to backup your sisters education budget
(Preparation for my sisters who will continue her study after SPM) and when
you’ll be the leader of your family after your father retired. My father will retire in august next year, so
it’s my responsibility to take care all of budget for this family lonely. It’s
hard and challenging but I believe this will make me more stronger and be the
better person (hopefully). I believe on god and also hukum karma (Who’s do good
thing will get a good thing). Sometime I hope wanna have at least one older
brother or sisters to assist me, but that’s just a dream, it will not come
reality.
Right now, communication skill is the big weakness for me, this maybe because
I grow up alone with the big gap ages with all my sisters, maybe cause being isolated
by the relatives, feeling stranger in the family or lonely and can’t show off(Some
of my friend can show off with their family property;for example, car). So,
when you’re growing up alone, you have to study hard and learn all things by
yourself. Sometime, I’m jealous to my friends which is have brothers or sisters
to assist them in their life and also their communication skill better than me
(Which their ages brothers/sisters gaps just about 2-3 years). That’s why I like
not talk too much because not good in talking. (Apo laie, sembanglah … ) I rarely
communicate with my sisters because they’re all girls and still small (Nasib
baik aku x lembut :D). My parents? Well my father is a primary school teacher
and not to mention he is not educated but well, he’s the old people. So not
very know about young people like me. So, our communication is just like father
and son only. By the way, he’s came from poor family, but he the successor in
his family. I really respect him.
How about my relatives, cousin??
Uncle?? Auntie??. Hmmmm they all have their own family now and they’re still
treat me as a stranger in their big family, both from my father and my mother
side. So I’ll like not talk too much
with them because I know who I am. The stranger person who is just to reside
in their big family. So, that’s why I’ll try do anything alone all the best, try
not to ask help from other people, maybe my friends out there think that I’m a
conceited (sombong) person and not friendly. Actually not because of that, I
try to be friendly but can’t because maybe this is I’m. At least I try to be
friendly but I they’re still misunderstood. So, just be myself. All that just
let god make the decision and also time decide it.
Career: Now, I work at the big company and known by every people
especially in Kelantan and Terengganu. This work is very good for my career
development, but for the salary and work time. Not so good, Here, I’ve to work
about 12 hours per day from 2pm – 2am just for salary about diploma standard (I’ve
a degree in Computer Science from UPM and Profesional Certificate from
international computer education agency). Well, what I can say, this’s my fate,
at least I’ve a job and also can take a lot of experience for my career
development. If the salary is worth with my task job here, maybe I’ll happy
work here, but from the 1st day, I just heard the bad things only
from my senior colleagues here. Maybe this is just my another transit to find
another comfortable job for tomorrow soon. I’m still looking for a better jobs
and continuoesly learning new thing in my career (try to adapt life long learning
concept). By the way, this job make me learn a lot of IT stuff and learn how to
work in a team and also communicate with another colleaguaes, but the bad
things here is clicque. At here, I try to be independent person, not to bias to
any group. It’s really fun when u learn
something from zero and do something by yourself. I also learn about management
especially about manage IT Infrastructure here, and also can see every type of
behavior of employee at here, some of them are very good in persuade other
people, just don’t want to give any commitment. A lot of behaviour type.
Well, I think that’s all for now,
don’t have any idea more what to write about. Just wanna chow now, oppss if there any mistaken on grammar on this, let me know… ……..Chow……….
ps : Bekerja itu pahit akarnya, tetapi manis buahnya….
.
